Cycle#2 - IUI#2

Today we went in for round two. When we arrived at the clinic there were like 8 other couples there. DW was a little anxious and we wondered if they told everyone to come at the same time 9:20am. 3 couples got called, I guess their sperm was ready. We continued to wait....then I saw the "Sperm Fairy" (the lady that brings the sperm from the lab) lol And I wondered if ours was one of the ones she had in hand.

The Dr seemed to be completing the IUI's quick cause he'd go in an exam room and come out like two minutes later. DW joked about my poor vjay being stretched and she called it a clam shell. haha She continued to joke about the Dr being so fast and how he could line up all the clam shells and say "fire in the hole" and inject us all. Kind of a sick sense of humour to have at 9:30 am lol I went to the washroom and when I came back it was our turn! Yay!

I got undressed and then the Dr came in. He told us that we had a great sample of 20 million post wash. Last months sample was just shy of 16 million and this one was more so that must be good. He did what he needed to do. DW held my hand and I squeezed hers tight while the procedure was happening. It was a bit painful again cause of my damn tilted cervix, but I lived and I know it will be all worth it once we have a baby in mah belly! I have a good feeling about this cycle. I listened to all my baby inspiring songs while I got ready, had a 22mm follie at last check and it must have gotten bigger after the trigger, 20mil sperm count, I wore my wedding day underwear and had my grandma's photo with us.

We went for breakfast after we left the clinic and then headed home. DW had a nap upstairs and I watched a Lindsay Lohan movie "Labour Pains" on Netflix. lol I've been cramping a tiny bit and I hope that's a good thing. Start progesterone tonight joy! Oh forgot to mention that I listened to this IUI meditation video on Youtube as well. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9b-1JT5ZXs

That's all for now. Baby bust for all!

Trigger is D-O-N-E!

DW just triggered me! It bled a tiny bit which freaked me out, but other than that it went well. Thank the lord that she is actually able to do it for me. I don't think I could stick myself. So we did it at 8:45pm and will have our IUI on Sunday at 9:20am. Please lord let this timing be right and have my eggie be perfect and meet with a perfect little spermie and make us a baby. Please please...pretty please!

CD 12

Today was CD 12 for us. I went in for monitoring and there was 1 follicle 22mm same as it was yesterday. The nurse advised me to trigger tonight and IUI tomorrow or Sunday depending on what my bloodwork showed. Later today she called and said to trigger tonight after 8 and come in for IUI on Sunday at 9:20 am. I'm really hoping that this is good timing. Last time I think I was surging on my own so I triggered on CD 14 and had the IUI the next day. This cycle has been very different, the follicle is bigger and IUI will happen 37.5 hrs after trigger. The nurse said that cycles can very and it's nothing to worry about. Hoping and praying that this eggie and timing brings us a BFP!  

~Sticky baby dust to all~

Cycle#2 updates

We're on Cd11 today and I have one plump follie at 22mm. The nurse said we would either trigger tonight or tomorrow and insem the next day. They haven't called tonight so maybe tomorrow I will trigger and iui on Saturday. I was so surprised that it was that big already cause last time I had a 20mm follie on Cd14 and we insemed on Cd15. I haven't had much monitoring this time cause the clinic was closed a few days. So I have only gone in on Cd3 and now Cd11 and I'm going back again tomorrow. 

I'm really hoping and praying that this time works. DW's bday is January 21st and that would be the best bday present ever for her! We had a pretty rough Christmas cause she called home to Europe to talk to her mom and then she asked to talk to her dad (who hasn't spoken to her in 2 yrs) he refused to come to the phone. So that broke her heart :( She really thought that he would at least come to the phone and say Merry Christmas. Other than that sad part, Christmas was ok. DW bought me an iPad! I was totally shocked!!!!!!! She said I deserve it cause I have gone through so much for our future baby already. 

That's all for now. Baby dust for all. 

Relax

So I was again following up with my IUI nurse about levels and timing and what not. Please see below for her email. lol 

Hi Alishia,
Just to clarify, it is not the rising LH that triggers the surge. Estrogen
elevation is what triggers the LH to surge. When the LH peaks it then sends
the ovulation signal which will then happen in approximately 36hrs. The
peak LH surge number is quite variable. It normally sits at the low
baseline level throughout the follicle development but when the estrogen
level peaks, it triggers the LH surge to start. LH can spike up to and
certainly over 23, maybe even closer to 100 (this is the same for everyone
who ovulates). When we take your blood, we are only catching just a brief
minute in the day. When LH is found to be surging, the level may be on it's
way up or down as we do not often capture it at the peak. 

I certainly don't mind giving you explaination about levels and measurements
but please know that we are monitoring your cycle closely. Dr. M
would not want you stressing about numbers and focussing on the cycle too
much as this could have a negative impact on the cycle in general. There
are a lot of variables with biology which can be expected but also cause
stress for people not typically exposed to these factors. 

We want you to be as relaxed as possible so you have the best chance
possible :)

Take care, L

I don't totally get all of that but I get the you need to relax girl part. lol 

CD3

So today was CD3. Goodie! I got stuck by a needle, had a full bladder ultrasound and then got the probe. The tech was in there for quite some time and I was starting to get nervous. I guess she kinda noticed that and said don't worry everything looks beautiful. So I was happy to hear that. I didn't get back any of my results so I have no idea how many follicles I have lined up in there. I tried counting her clicks and I think it was about 8 on one side and 6 or 7 on the other. I think I usually have about 15/16 on day 3. 

The nurse instructed me to come back on Christmas day. She said they would only be doing ultrasounds that day. But when I went to book an appointment they were all confused and said they weren't open. I called later on and tried to get everything sorted out. Turns out they want me to come on CD11 which will be the 27th. Last cycle I went in on CD3, 9 and then every day until IUI day. So of course I email L my IUI nurse to confirm that this would be ok. She said "Yes, that should be fine as you did not get triggered last cycle until day

14. Thanks for checking." 

Sure hope she's right! 

New protocol? Nope.

So earlier this week I thought I might be getting a new protocol to boost our chances. But I didn't. Here's the email from our IUI nurse. 

Hello A,

I did speak with Dr. M yesterday afternoon. He informed me that he is
happy with the way your cycle went. I discussed that fact that you have
limited tdi samples. He suggested you verify with the donor bank if in fact
there is a limited supply as you may very well use up 4 just with the next
few attempts. Success rates are about 25% each time you try, so 1 in 4
attempts yields a pregnancy. 

We can try adding injections to your protocol which usually increase the
number of follicles produce. This does not increase your chance to conceive
as the percentage is still 25% BUT it does put you at higher risk of twins
of which if you were to conceive with the cycle, it is a 25% chance to be
twins. 

Another option is to go for IVF. Success rates for your age group is about
69% with 25% risk of twins as well. IVF is quite costly at about $9000
including the TDI sample, but not including injections and other drugs.
There is a preparation phase for IVF which would need to take place before
proceeding, this takes approximately 1 cycle to prepare. 

It is understandable that you may wish to try to use the same donor, however
it is not really recommended to tailor your treatment protocol or put you at
higher risk, using more aggressive treatments in an effort to work around
the availability of one particular donor. Dr. M used the analogy of a
button that you may like, on an article of clothing and because you like
that particular button, you buy all your other clothing to go with that
button. So, most would not likely purchase all other items using the one
button as the focal point.

To summarize, he liked how the cycle was going so far and would prefer to
continue that way for now. If you are interested in any of the other two
options let me know however he really would rather you try to open your
options for the TDI sample selection instead of putting yourself at higher
risk using injections to work around one selection. 

Let me know how you wish to proceed. If you have further questions please do
not hesitate to contact me. 

Take care,

L 
GNT/IUI Nurse

My reply to her was Thank you L. I will review this with my wife who is against having twins! Haha So I'm guessing we will stick with the same protocol this time around. 

New Protocol!?

Last night I sent an email to our RE reguarding our protocol. I asked him to review my charts from last cycle and let us know if anything should change to maximize our chances as we have only 4 vials of our dear donor left now. He emailed me back saying he has reviewed my charts and has suggested some changes that the iui nurse will go over with me. I wonder what it will be. I want to increase our chances of concieving but I'm worried about the multiples factor! Yikes maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I guess we'll find out tomorrow. 

*~*~Baby dust to all and to all a good night~*~*

She's here

AF came! I literally said "Yay" out loud when I noticed. But let me tell you she is back with a vengeance cause she's been kicking my ass all day. Major cramps and severe lower back pain. Welcome Cycle Day 1.

Waiting for her

La la la patiently waiting for AF. I didn't want to see her for 9 months, but now I need her to come so we can start IUI cycle #2. I  stopped taking progesterone on Thursday night. I wonder how long it will take for her to come and I wonder if it will be heavier this month. I'm very anxious to start round 2! IUI could happen around New Years!!

BFN :(

On December 13th DW and I got a BFN. DW was downstairs eating breakfast while I peed on a stick. I kept starring at it and hoping to see something. Nope just one line and a completely white area where I had hope, dreamed and wished with all my might that there were a line. I checked it in every light imaginable and nothing. When DW came upstairs I showed her. She didn't believe it and thought it was wrong. Then she started to cry. She just couldn't believe that it didn't work. We had done everything right, she just couldn't understand. Then she started to blame the clinic, maybe they had done something wrong. I assured her that we did everything we could and the clinic did too. She took it really hard, which I wasn't really expecting. I mean after all I was the one researching for years and booking all the appointments and really got the ball rolling with everything baby and I have been the one obsessed with everything to do with babies and just dying to have one. I guess she really is excited and wanting a baby too! 

Later that morning I went to the clinic for blood work and then checked by phone every second I could to see if the clinic had called. Just before 1 I got the call. The nurse expressed her condolences and told me to stop taking the progesterone and to call on CD1. I inquired about the clinic closures over the holidays and she assured me that even though they are supposed to be closed on Christmas day, Boxing day and New Years day that they will be available for their clients if procedures are required on those days, and if we didn't mind spending those days with the clinic staff then we can try again this cycle. I was really happy to hear that, I didn't want to have to wait to try again. I mean I was really sad that it didn't work but it can never work if we don't try. 

Try - P!nk 
"Gotta get up and try try try"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1-m7vub1HM

Ps. I forgot to mention that I came home to flowers and chocolate! <3 Dw and cannot wait to have a baby with her.

2 more sleeps!

Two more sleeps, two more sleeps! This has been the longest two weeks ever! I've had sooo many symptoms that I know are brought on by evil progesterone. My newest symptom is a metal/yucky taste in my mouth. Joy! I cannot wait till Thursday! Blood work is scheduled for 9:30am and we should know between 12 & 3 what the verdict is. I'm dying to pee on something tho!! DW is SO scared of a false positive and won't let me. I feel like txting her right now saying "If you love me you will bring home a pregnancy test and a box of Ferrero Rocher" or "If you want dinner, bring me a pee stick woman." lmao We are scared shitless that it didn't work and also that it may have worked. haha I mean we really do want a baby and we wouldn't be paying thousands of dollars for treatment and sperm for no reason. Right!? haha 

The other day I was talking to my old supervisor and she fully just comes out and asks me if I'm pregnant. I laughed and said not yet. Apparently the girls at work saw a hawk while outside on the playground with the kids and instantly thought of me. A little background story: there used to be a crazy lady at my work who believed in all sorts of native old wives tales. She believed that if she saw a hawk that someone she knew was pregnant. And the freaky thing is she was always right and someone at work would get outted as being knocked up. haha That old wives tale has lived on and has always been a reliable source. Bonus, it has to be me cause everyone at my old workplace that could possibly be pregnant, already is! haha 

Let's go Thursday! Let's go! Let's go BFP! Let's gooooooooooo!!!

5 more sleeps!

We're just over one week in and five sleeps till our test!!! So far I have experiencing lower back pain and my lower abdomen has felt weird since the IUI, my boobs hurt a bit and can be itchy at times, and I've been very forgetful lately.  The other day I made soup and it was horrible, then I threw in a frozen pizza and cooked it with the cardboard on the bottom, and today I swore I took DW's cell out of her coat and apparently I didn't. I had to call her cell five times in order to find it in her pocket! Lol I have also been out of breath a lot too which is not like me. DW even commented although I think she things I'm exaggerating.  haha I'm sure all these are due to the progesterone at this point. But I'm obviously hoping and praying for a BFP! I've been thinking about POAS soon just to see if the trigger is out and then again on the morning of our blood work, I have always dreamed of DW and I finding out that way together. She's too afraid of a false positive so I guess I won't be POAS's till after the blood work. haha We're off to watch Elf now and eat Tostitos and cheese dip which I sent DW to get just now. I've been craving it since I saw it in a flyer yesterday. Yum yum yum! Hope everyone is having a lovely Saturday :)

8 days till testing

I've been so busy at work and home lately! Happy to be busy but I'm a bit stressed and overwhelmed. There actually have been a few moments in a day that I almost forget we inseminated and that I, god willing could be with child. One minute I have a good feeling about getting a BFP, the next I'm in disbelief that I could actually have a one hit wonder. I keep having BFP dreams and dreams about our baby AND the day after our IUI my sister texts asking if DW and I are pregnant, she had a dream we were having twins! Btw she doesn't even know that we were going to try, so it was totally random. I fluffed it off and joked about her imagining DW and I with twins and how crazy we would be. lol Now I'm all paro about twins. Our donor has twin brothers and my Grandma had a set of twins and I was on femera. lol I'm pretty sure I only had one follie in the lead tho. haha

I have been feeling a little strange in the lower abdomen off and on since the IUI. Tonight I had some twinges and slight cramping. Maybe implantation? I have also been having headaches off and on for the last few days and some itchy boobies and lower back pain too. Ps. The progesterone suppositories are starting to build up if you know what I mean. Lol That's all for now. 

*~*~* Baby dust to all and to all a good night *~*~*

Post IUI Update

I have felt a little weird in my lower abdomen since the iui. It doesn't hurt or anything just feels weird. Hopefully it's not my body rejecting the sperm lol Tonight I had the pleasure of shoving two progesterone pills up my whoha. I'm armed with a liner! Yay! 

1st IUI - 1st TWW

I am still praying that our timing was right. It's soooooo tricky! But from what I have been told apparently once your LH levels are 20 or above you are surging on your own already. So  this means ovulation should happen between 24-36 hrs after that. My bloodwork was taken at 6:30am on Thursday and showed my LH was 22.78, my IUI was just after 9am today, which is about 27 hrs after my bloodwork. I'm not sure why they made me trigger tho, maybe that speeds things up or something. Beats me, but I'm really hoping this is good timing for my body! 

The IUI went well, DW and I arrived a bit early so we had to wait. Then we called and escorted to the room, the nurse showed us our sample and confirmed the donor number. DW was in shock that the sample was so small! lol She also had lots of questions about what sperm looked like as the liquid in the vial was very watery and pinkish. I explained to her that sperm does not look like that, and I'm not sure why the heck it was pink but we should ask the nurse. I took a couple pix of DW with our vial, undressed and plopped my butt on the table and we waited for the nurse. Once the nurse came back she double checked the donor number with us and we asked why it was pink. She explained that it's the solution that they put the washed sperm in or something to that effect. The actual IUI hurt a bit but I didn't die on the table or anything. lol And DW held my hand while I made faces as the nurse did her thing down there. Our donors count was 15.9Million, I think that's pretty good considering the sperm bank guarantees only 10Mil. I laid on the table for a bit and we chatted and laughed and DW took some pix of me posing on the table with my ass draped with that large paper towel they give you and in that moment we were happy, we may have just made a baby. I got dressed and we went upstairs to book our pregnancy test. I'm booked for bloodwork on December 13th at 8:30am. After that we went out for breakfast and now we're home relaxing. I'm still in shock and so thrilled to finally be in our first TWW! 

**Sticky baby dust for all**

Trigger

Trigger shot is done and DW gave it to me. Totally shocked that she did it! She is squimish as hell and hates getting needles, did not think she would actually be able to go through with it. So glad she did tho. I don't think I could have done it by myself. Yay bring on our 1st IUI tomorrow :)

CD14 - Big update

6:30 am clinic appt, sixth day in a row and looks like we're finally ready!!!! I am a bit concerned cause they told me to trigger tonight at 8 pm and come in tomorrow at 9 am for the iui. The nurse said if I don't hear from her tonight just to come in tomorrow am. So there is a chance she may call tonight to change iui day to Saturday depending on my bloodwork from today. My bloodwork came back with Estrogen at 1517.0, LH at 22.78 and Progesterone at 0.43.  No call yet so it looks like tomorrow is the day. I was really freaking out earlier about the timing, everything I have read suggests to iui 24-36hrs after the trigger.  But I got a second opinion from another nurse and advice and reassurance from some lovely ladies on Babycentre. I think the timing will be ok, right? After all it is their job to time everything for me, this is the reason I have been going every bloody day for monitoring, right? Yup! So I just have to relax, trust the professionals and my body, be positive and keep happy. 

CD 12&13

Back to the clinic I went. CD12 showed the follie is still 19mm. Lining is 8.something, E2 is 512, LH 8.09 and progesterone 0.35. Not sure if those number were good but I had to go back the next day for more monitoring. Joy! I did't even know which arm to give them. Both have been poked to death! CD13 showed a 20mm'er and the nurse said it all depended on my bloodwork now. I told the receptionist that they should have beds there for clients lol booked my 6:30 am appt for the next day and went on my merry way. The bloodwork later showed E2 is 793, LH 10.55 and progesterone 0.42. The nurse said this was good. 

CD11

Oh lord! I thought my vjay hurt yesterday, well after today yesterday's pain seems like nothing. Today that wand went this way and that way and up and down, twisting and turning and all I could do was grip my sweater, squeeze my eyes shut and try not to squeel.

On a more pleasent note I have a 19mm and a 14mm follie!! And my lining is 7.3 :) Back I go tomorrow for a full bladder scan and more blood work. I wonder if tomorrow will be trigger day? She's sitting in my fridge just waitin.

That's all for now :)

CD10 Update

CD10 shows 1-16mm and 1-12mm and a few other ones the nurse said are still growing. I have to go back tomorrow again!  And my poor vjay hurts, too much probing and my arm hurts too. Tomorrow I will be sure to have blood drawn from the other arm. 

After the torture I went for some brunch and then headed my massage appointment. The massage was great as always, so relaxing! I picked up some Thai Express for dinner, yum then DW and I did a little Christmas shopping, following that I treated myself to a bubble/epsom salts bath. I had candles lit and played some baby inspiring songs. 

Colbie Calliat - Capri www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-6HXmTuu50...

Amy Seeley - Surprisingly so www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sZIZ8yDZFE

Leona Lewis - The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEGFuXGHMdY

And lastly Christina Perri - A Thousand Years www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtOvBOTyX00 which by the end of it tears were streaming down my face.

CD9 Update

Today is CD9 and I have a 16mm & a 10mm! During my investigative cycle I had two 10mm at this point. So I guess the Femera helped. Now I have to go everyday until they tell me to trigger. I wonder when that day will be!! I pray to ovulate on Thursday or Friday as my work schedule is rammed Monday-Wednesday this week. But baby comes first so if that means calling in sick on a rammed day, so be it! 

Hope every is having a good weekend! Sending positive vibes and baby dust to all!!

Femera update

Tonight I'm taking the last pill!!! It hasn't been too bad really. I had a huge headache on Monday and Tuesday but no symptoms since then. It was so funny on Sunday night when I was taking it, I text DW saying I took the first pill. She texts back "Down the hatch or up the snatch?' lmfao I was showing her all the meds earlier that day and was explaining how I have to put the progesterone up there. Haha She's hilarious! Going in for monitoring on Saturday CD9, hope some of these lil follies grew!

CD3 & The Documentary

We had our CD3 check today, I have 16 follicles. 5 on one side and 11 on the other, same as I had during my investigative cycle. The nurse said start femera tonight after 8pm and then every day until Thursday. We go in CD9 next to see how the lil ones are doing.

Tonight were starting our documentary (DW's idea) she wants to video our baby journey. So tonight we're filming about how we got to this point and then talk about CD3 and what's next. I'm shocked that she actually wants to do this. She was very backseat driver with the baby stuff for so long and now that's the time has actually come she's very much into it. Another thing she wants to film tonight is a shot of all my vitamins, supplements and all my meds under our Christmas tree (which we just put up today) and us saying all we want for Christmas is a baby. She's so cute!!

Cycle day 1!

YES we're finally in!! Cycle day 1 today :) Going in for monitoring starting cycle day 3 and then they will tell me when to start Femera. I never thought this day would come haha I text DW to tell her, the reply I got back was "Wanna have a period party"  my reply "Yeah!!!!" haha

Second delivery

My trigger shot arrived tonight. It's sitting in my fridge waiting to be used. Soooo nervous about having to stick it in my belly. Oh the things we do for babes! 

Medicine Man

Today I called the pharmacy to arrange payment and delivery of my meds! (Femera, Progesterone suppositories and Ovidril) I'm now awaiting the arrival of the Medicine Man lol I'm so happy that they deliver but the delivery times I was told were somewhere between 7:30pm and 10:00pm. Yawn! Feels like my little pup and I have been starring at the door all night. I really hope that he comes tonight, but I know that there is a possibility that it could be delievered tomorrow since I told them I don't need it by tonight. I will need it by Saturday if AF shows tomorrow. Common Medicine Man and AF!!!

Soooo he finally showed up at 10:15. I open the bag like a kid on Christmas and only two things are in the bag. My Ovidril shot was missing! I call the pharmacy, leave a message and then go to bed.

Lalala

Still patiently waiting for Aunt Flo. Hoping she arrives within the next couple of days. I've been having all the typical symptoms prior to her arrival for like a week now.  Nothing else to report!

AF TWW

Omg it's almost time for our 1st IUI cycle!! We are currently awaiting AF's arrival, she should be here in approximately 14 days so we're technically in a TWW.  I never thought I would want her to come but I can't wait. Hopefully this will be the last time I see her for a while. 

Baby dust and sticky vibes to all!! 

Sperm Dream

On Friday night I had a dream that our sperm got delivered to our house. The UPS driver delivered us a garbage can full of ice cubes with little vials floating around in it. Later that night I was set to ovulate so I told DW it's time!! And we went on a hunt in our garbage can for the vial with our donor number on it. For some reason there were several other donor vials in there. I couldn't remember our donor number and I was so frazzled. Then I woke up. 

We are not insemming at home so I have no idea what brought this dream on. haha As for the donor confusion it could be because I have always been worried about a mix up or buying the wrong vials. When I put the order in for our our sperm, I sent the lady I was talking to at the bank a photo of our donor and said this is him right? She said "Yup that's him" and "Ooooo he's a cutie!" My experience with CAN-AM Cryoservices was a really good one. They always answered my millions of emails, they sent me a courtesy email letting me know that Xytex wanted the vials back for another customer, then saved the vials for a couple days until DW and I decided how many we wanted. Ann our representative was just so nice and seemed really excited for DW and I. She wished us much luck and said she hoped to hear from us soon about a pregnancy.

We own...

5 vials of Sperm!! And now we wait for CD1. According to my pink pad app it's about 24 days away. I have a feeling is gonna be a loooong wait. Then the wait for ovulation, IUI and the dreaded but exciting two week wait!! 

We've decided!

We now have until Monday to decide. But our minds are made up. We will be purchasing all 5 vials and will take what we can get, be that one, two or no babies. Hoping and praying for at least one bundle of joy tho. If it's only one we are blessed with we will cross the sibling road if and when we are ready. We are not totally against having an only child either.

Our dr advises us to buy one at a time, he seems pretty confident that I won't have a problem. I kinda get offended at that cause how would he know!? I mean he is a dr but plenty of ppl with no known issues take many tries to conceive. We really like this donor and he is no longer in the program nor does he have any vials to be found anywhere! So we really can't miss out on this opportunity.

So Monday we order sperm then wait for CD1 which should be happening around Nov 15!!!

Donor Dilemma

DW and I are torn. Our 1st choice donor has only 5 vials available and is no longer in the program. We were really hoping for two pregnancies = two children.  5 may be enough or maybe not. We have to decide by tomorrow as the bank in the US wants them for a client. 
Guess there is never a way go know what will be enough. Anyone have a crystal ball? Lol

Hopefully I will get pregnant within the first few tries. Then we'll have a couple for a shot at number two. I guess we could get another donor too if need be. My sister and I are from different fathers and it didn't bother us much. And we never refer to ourselves as 1/2 siblings! We're just sisters. We look completely different and have totally different personalities too and it really doesn't matter. 

But maybe with donor concieved children it might be better cause they would have that 100% blood relative when they don't know the other 50% of their biology?  Ahhh I really don't know.  

I'm so paranoid that we could buy all 5 and end up with twins. My grandmother had twins and the donor has twin brothers!! Combo that with the fact that I will be taking femera!! If we had twins we would be done! Lol The other fact of the matter is we could end up with 5 used up vials and no baby :( 

What to do

My period came yesterday a couple days early!! So we had to make the decision ASAP cause we have to call the clinic on CD1. We went back and forth but decided to wait until next cycle. I have some job stuff up in the air and we have to go to Cuba in April for a wedding and I would be about 28wks along if it took the first time. 

I feel sad about waiting. But I think it's for the best. Did I mention that I'm sad about waiting!? Lol Can't wait for this period to be over and for my next one to show!!! 

Protocol & Coldish feet

Today I got a call from the nurse at our clinic. She met with the Dr to review our chart and said that everything looked fantastic with my investigative cycle!! She said that our Dr has indicated my treatment cycle will consist of Femera 2.5mg to be taken for 5 days, an Ovidrel shot to be taken when advised and Prometrium to be taken 2 days after Ovidrel. How does this sound? A little too aggressive for a 1st-timer??? The nurse said he likes to use some drugs to augment ovulation when using donor sperm because it can get expensive. 

So anyway looks like we have the protocol for our first IUI!! Now we just have to figure out when that will be. I'm due to start my period on Monday...so this could all start really soon. We may wait out this month and try IUI#1 next cycle, this would give us a little more time before all the real TTC madness begins.

Is is bad that I'm the one who has been dying for a baby and now that the process may start sooner rather than later I feel like I'm getting cold feet??!! LOL Did this happen to anyone else? I mean I keep thinking what if it happens the first time? What if it doesn't? What if we get preggers with twins? So many what if's! 

Anyway thanks for reading!

Done!

We are completely done our investigative cycle!!! We had a few scares cause my follicles weren't growing too much initially and the nurse told us we had one more check and if they weren't growing they would stop monitoring. Thankfully by the next appointment I had one in the lead. Turns out I'm just a late bloomer cause my cycle is 32ish days.  Just after that appointment the clinic called and gave us an appointment to meet with the Dr. to review all the test results and talk about protocol, the earliest they had was Nov 21. I was really bummed about that cause it would mean we would miss 2 ovulations :(

I also panicked a little when I had the 3D ultrasound to check the shape of my uterus on Thursday. I googled images when I left the office and tried to remember what mine looked like so I could compare. Then I started freaking myself out cause I wasn't sure if I was remembering right. The tech told me I have to wait till I meet with the Dr...so I was worried about that too! How was I supposed to wait till nearly the end of Nov to know the results!?

Butttttt then the nurse called later that day, she reviewed my charts and said that everything looked great!!! She is meeting with the dr to review patient files next week and will find out if he will give us the go ahead to start a natural cycle or advise her if he wants to augment with some drugs. I was in tears listening to the voicemail and happily forwarded it to DW. This means we may not even need to meet with the Doc!! Thankfully I have since been able to change our appointment from Nov 21st to Oct 30th just in case. Yay!! 

The Investigative Cycle has begun!

We finally started our investigative cycle!!! I went CD3, they took 9 vials of blood and did an ultrasound. My FSH on CD3 was 7.59. Don't know if that is good or bad and we won't meet with the dr till after the cycle and all testing is done. Wednesday was CD9 for me and I went in for an ultrasound and blood work. When I got back the results and they are as follows. Lining was 3.7, and I have 5 follicles on right and 11 on left and on both sides one started to grow and they are 10mm and others are small. 

We are worried because we don't know what is normal. The nurses were pleasant and said come back on CD12. I cannot really find anything on line that pertains to a natural cycle and CD9 stats. The other thing is my cycles are pretty long 30-33 days. So that could affect things too!? Right?

We're going crazy and we haven't even really begun! DW is really getting into having a baby. It's sooo cute!! 

Today is CD 12 and I'm back for more blood work, ultrasound and hsg test. Nervous!! Hoping my lining grew and my follicles too! And they won't let DW come with me cause the room is "too small" I'm really disappointed in that. She hasn't been able to take part in anything so far :( she will come with me to meet the nurse today tho after the ultrasound. I also had to pay for the test :( hope I can submit it to my insurance and get it back. We need every penny for sperm! 

Tomorrow...Tomorrow

Tomorrow is our first consult with our RE!!! Omg I'm so excited and nervous...DW is too!! Hope we can sleep tonight! We will do an investigative cycle and get all the testing done around Sept 14 when I get AF and hopefully we can squeeze in our counselling session. If all goes quick and well, we may have our first insem at the end of September! I know it may not be possible but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

The Job Sitch & TTC Plan

So a couple weeks ago my colleagues and I found out, that the task force formed to look at our region’s continued role in child care delivery is recommending we phase out our child care centres. This means I will be out of a job.

The final recommendation that will be presented to our Regional Council in September, is to close all 12 of our Child Care Centres over the next 2 years. What will probably happen is we will stop enrolment in October 2012 and then they will start letting us go as the number decline. I don't anticipate that the numbers will drop drastically until summer 2013 when each centre will loose the kindergarten children. So I anticipate job security until at least then.

Because of all of this DW and I have come up with this plan, we'll probably start TTC sooner rather than later. I will hopefully get pregnant, go on mat leave and receive EI (based on my current salary) and 15 week top up, receive my severance (Not sure if I would be given this while on mat or when it ends, I have to inquire about this.) And lastly find employment prior to my mat leaving ending, hopefully within the school board. Begin working at the end of my mat leave as I will not qualify for EI after being off. Or begin work a little early if necessary and DW will take parental leave. Yup that's the plan at the moment. 

I know it sounds crazy planning to have a baby while facing lay-off but the alternative is wait to get laid off over the next two years, wait to get offered my severance, find a new job (Where I will most likely make less $ = less $ on mat leave and no top up) work my required hours and THEN work on starting a family. This could take 2-3+ years!! 

Preparations & Lifestyle Changes

So to get my body ready for the baby I long for I have been taking a vial of Royal Jelly each morning, a teaspoon of Maca punch in my OJ, and a prenatal before bed. I have also been limiting my ginger ale intake to one a week, I have beer the odd time and I have also been cutting down on my caffeine intake by having one teaspoon of decaf and 1/2 a teaspoon of hazelnut coffee in the morning. I've been trying to eat healthier, eating lots of mixed greens and 1/2 an avocado almost every day. I have also been trying to make eating more of a priority. It's often hard for me to find time to eat sometimes when I'm busy at work. I have been forcing myself to squeeze in a break and take a lunch!

Let's hope that all these little things add up to health eggs and a super healthy wee baby in the future!

It's booked!

So we booked our consult with the fertility clinic we would like to use and got soooo lucky. The wait is normally 3 months or longer but we got an appointment with the RE on August 29th! We will meet with him first to discuss our options and then do the investigative cycle and have all the testing done. If all goes well we should be good to go! But when we will actually go...well as you know that is still up the in air. I'm feeling good about taking this step though. Fingers crossed that all is well with my body as DW would never carry. She has no desire to, so it's all on me baby!

Time to book it?

I'm dying to book an appointment with the RE we wanna use. My DW is not in a hurry as she feels like we are not ready yet due to my job situation. She worries about my future job security and us providing for our family. What she doesn't get is that once we see the RE doesn't mean we walk out with a baby! I have done all the research and have been exposing her to the information little by little. I had to explain to her that once we meet with the RE (which takes approx 3 months to get an appointment) I have to do an investigative cycle, we have to meet with a counsellor, pick a donor and then we have one shot a month to make it happen.

I sent her a heart to heart email explaining that I don't want to force her into having a baby and that is how she makes me feel sometimes. And how this is a long process, we don't just decide we are ready and do it the next day. There are many hoops to jump through and many steps that need to take place before we officially TTC. I told her how I am committed to making this happen, 100% committed to all the early morning blood draws, getting violated by the dildo cam and all the other super fun stuff that's involved in this process.

We are planners and savers and perfectionists. But really there will never be the perfect time for anything. We have to decide on what we want and just go for it...and make it the perfect time! She assured me that she wants a baby and is on board to meeting with the RE to get the ball rolling.

Yessssssssssssss....Time to make the call and book it!

The unwanted bump...in the road

So my wife and I have been married almost a year now and our plan had been to start trying this summer. *Sigh Sadly our plans had to change.

I work for a Regionally funded Child Care Centre and in January all the Early Childhood Educators were called to a meeting and we were told that our centres were facing closure. The Region put this proposal through to our City Council the following week. Council decided to form a task force and gather more information before deciding to close our doors. They will meet again at the end of September 2012 and make their decision.

This has been really hard for all of my colleagues and myself to deal with this uncertainty for months! It has been draining not knowing what will happen. Most people say it's just a job, you'll find another one. But to me it isn't just a job, I felt that I was making a difference and valued and compensated well for all my hard work and dedication. Plus the benefits I currently have were supposed to help us make a baby and my salary to help provide for our family. I don't know how it is for other lesbian couples but for us I find that it can be a struggle sometimes. Don't get me wrong we are secure financially for the time being and I'm sure we will be fine. But it's like for us we aren't bringing home the combined salary that a heterosexual couple may bring home, we had to pay for our wedding on our own, have had no financial support or emotional support from our immediate family and are not skilled to do most of the modifications that we'd like to do around the house, we do try though...but there is always money going out and we have to essentially buy a baby if we want one. Sorry if I am coming across as bitter but I kinda am. 

Anyway back to the point of this post, the change of plans. Our new plan is to wait to see what Council will decide. There is a glimmer of hope for us to stay open or have a phased out closure over the next year or maybe two years. With that being said we will wait until they decide on what to do with our centres and then plan from there. If there is no hope and the closure will happen by September 2013 I think we will get working on a bun in the oven. I would like to have a mat leave while still an employee with them as my salary is higher than what I will potentially make elsewhere, so my EI will be higher and they offer a 15 week top up. The only problem with this is that if there are some jobs left or created I could be on mat leave and not be offered them if I am off for the year. What to do!!?? Oh life! 

Thanks for reading. 

A Modern Day Love Story

Hi all, I am very new to this blogging thing! So here goes nothing. I am Mommy and my DW is Mum and here is our story.

February 2008, is when this story began to unfold. Mommy, was sitting at home surfing a dating website. She was thinking about randomly messaging anyone she thought was cute. This is exactly what she did and as fate would have it, Mum was the first cutie to write back! And really the only one who mattered.

Mum and Mommy then began talking and shortly after exchanged pictures. The two talked online, and then on the phone once Mommy was brave enough to answer. After a few weeks their first date was planned and the two finally met in person. The night played off like a true fairy tale as they danced the night away. The girls spent lots of time together, however during this time Mommy played it safe and tried not to get too close too quickly. Over time Mommy finally let her guard down and allowed love to lead the way.

As time went on they officially became, Mommy and Mum. Soon after they decided to turn their love into a triangle, with the addition of a furry little bundle of joy, they called Peanut.


The Proposal 
On August 4th 2009, the two were enjoying a nice quiet evening by the fire. They played a question game using a little deck of cards. They each took turns asking a question. When it was Mum’s turn she looked at the card and read “Mommy will you marry me?” Mommy was shocked and thought Mum was joking…And replied “Shut up! Are you serious!?” She knew it had to be for real when Mum pulled out a box with a beautiful ring tucked inside.

Of course Mommy said “YES!”
 
The two were married on August 19th 2011. And they plan to live happily ever after!