The Investigative Cycle has begun!

We finally started our investigative cycle!!! I went CD3, they took 9 vials of blood and did an ultrasound. My FSH on CD3 was 7.59. Don't know if that is good or bad and we won't meet with the dr till after the cycle and all testing is done. Wednesday was CD9 for me and I went in for an ultrasound and blood work. When I got back the results and they are as follows. Lining was 3.7, and I have 5 follicles on right and 11 on left and on both sides one started to grow and they are 10mm and others are small. 

We are worried because we don't know what is normal. The nurses were pleasant and said come back on CD12. I cannot really find anything on line that pertains to a natural cycle and CD9 stats. The other thing is my cycles are pretty long 30-33 days. So that could affect things too!? Right?

We're going crazy and we haven't even really begun! DW is really getting into having a baby. It's sooo cute!! 

Today is CD 12 and I'm back for more blood work, ultrasound and hsg test. Nervous!! Hoping my lining grew and my follicles too! And they won't let DW come with me cause the room is "too small" I'm really disappointed in that. She hasn't been able to take part in anything so far :( she will come with me to meet the nurse today tho after the ultrasound. I also had to pay for the test :( hope I can submit it to my insurance and get it back. We need every penny for sperm! 

Tomorrow...Tomorrow

Tomorrow is our first consult with our RE!!! Omg I'm so excited and nervous...DW is too!! Hope we can sleep tonight! We will do an investigative cycle and get all the testing done around Sept 14 when I get AF and hopefully we can squeeze in our counselling session. If all goes quick and well, we may have our first insem at the end of September! I know it may not be possible but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

The Job Sitch & TTC Plan

So a couple weeks ago my colleagues and I found out, that the task force formed to look at our region’s continued role in child care delivery is recommending we phase out our child care centres. This means I will be out of a job.

The final recommendation that will be presented to our Regional Council in September, is to close all 12 of our Child Care Centres over the next 2 years. What will probably happen is we will stop enrolment in October 2012 and then they will start letting us go as the number decline. I don't anticipate that the numbers will drop drastically until summer 2013 when each centre will loose the kindergarten children. So I anticipate job security until at least then.

Because of all of this DW and I have come up with this plan, we'll probably start TTC sooner rather than later. I will hopefully get pregnant, go on mat leave and receive EI (based on my current salary) and 15 week top up, receive my severance (Not sure if I would be given this while on mat or when it ends, I have to inquire about this.) And lastly find employment prior to my mat leaving ending, hopefully within the school board. Begin working at the end of my mat leave as I will not qualify for EI after being off. Or begin work a little early if necessary and DW will take parental leave. Yup that's the plan at the moment. 

I know it sounds crazy planning to have a baby while facing lay-off but the alternative is wait to get laid off over the next two years, wait to get offered my severance, find a new job (Where I will most likely make less $ = less $ on mat leave and no top up) work my required hours and THEN work on starting a family. This could take 2-3+ years!! 

Preparations & Lifestyle Changes

So to get my body ready for the baby I long for I have been taking a vial of Royal Jelly each morning, a teaspoon of Maca punch in my OJ, and a prenatal before bed. I have also been limiting my ginger ale intake to one a week, I have beer the odd time and I have also been cutting down on my caffeine intake by having one teaspoon of decaf and 1/2 a teaspoon of hazelnut coffee in the morning. I've been trying to eat healthier, eating lots of mixed greens and 1/2 an avocado almost every day. I have also been trying to make eating more of a priority. It's often hard for me to find time to eat sometimes when I'm busy at work. I have been forcing myself to squeeze in a break and take a lunch!

Let's hope that all these little things add up to health eggs and a super healthy wee baby in the future!

It's booked!

So we booked our consult with the fertility clinic we would like to use and got soooo lucky. The wait is normally 3 months or longer but we got an appointment with the RE on August 29th! We will meet with him first to discuss our options and then do the investigative cycle and have all the testing done. If all goes well we should be good to go! But when we will actually go...well as you know that is still up the in air. I'm feeling good about taking this step though. Fingers crossed that all is well with my body as DW would never carry. She has no desire to, so it's all on me baby!

Time to book it?

I'm dying to book an appointment with the RE we wanna use. My DW is not in a hurry as she feels like we are not ready yet due to my job situation. She worries about my future job security and us providing for our family. What she doesn't get is that once we see the RE doesn't mean we walk out with a baby! I have done all the research and have been exposing her to the information little by little. I had to explain to her that once we meet with the RE (which takes approx 3 months to get an appointment) I have to do an investigative cycle, we have to meet with a counsellor, pick a donor and then we have one shot a month to make it happen.

I sent her a heart to heart email explaining that I don't want to force her into having a baby and that is how she makes me feel sometimes. And how this is a long process, we don't just decide we are ready and do it the next day. There are many hoops to jump through and many steps that need to take place before we officially TTC. I told her how I am committed to making this happen, 100% committed to all the early morning blood draws, getting violated by the dildo cam and all the other super fun stuff that's involved in this process.

We are planners and savers and perfectionists. But really there will never be the perfect time for anything. We have to decide on what we want and just go for it...and make it the perfect time! She assured me that she wants a baby and is on board to meeting with the RE to get the ball rolling.

Yessssssssssssss....Time to make the call and book it!

The unwanted bump...in the road

So my wife and I have been married almost a year now and our plan had been to start trying this summer. *Sigh Sadly our plans had to change.

I work for a Regionally funded Child Care Centre and in January all the Early Childhood Educators were called to a meeting and we were told that our centres were facing closure. The Region put this proposal through to our City Council the following week. Council decided to form a task force and gather more information before deciding to close our doors. They will meet again at the end of September 2012 and make their decision.

This has been really hard for all of my colleagues and myself to deal with this uncertainty for months! It has been draining not knowing what will happen. Most people say it's just a job, you'll find another one. But to me it isn't just a job, I felt that I was making a difference and valued and compensated well for all my hard work and dedication. Plus the benefits I currently have were supposed to help us make a baby and my salary to help provide for our family. I don't know how it is for other lesbian couples but for us I find that it can be a struggle sometimes. Don't get me wrong we are secure financially for the time being and I'm sure we will be fine. But it's like for us we aren't bringing home the combined salary that a heterosexual couple may bring home, we had to pay for our wedding on our own, have had no financial support or emotional support from our immediate family and are not skilled to do most of the modifications that we'd like to do around the house, we do try though...but there is always money going out and we have to essentially buy a baby if we want one. Sorry if I am coming across as bitter but I kinda am. 

Anyway back to the point of this post, the change of plans. Our new plan is to wait to see what Council will decide. There is a glimmer of hope for us to stay open or have a phased out closure over the next year or maybe two years. With that being said we will wait until they decide on what to do with our centres and then plan from there. If there is no hope and the closure will happen by September 2013 I think we will get working on a bun in the oven. I would like to have a mat leave while still an employee with them as my salary is higher than what I will potentially make elsewhere, so my EI will be higher and they offer a 15 week top up. The only problem with this is that if there are some jobs left or created I could be on mat leave and not be offered them if I am off for the year. What to do!!?? Oh life! 

Thanks for reading.